October 1, 2016

Our Love/Hate Relationship with Valentine’s Day

Valentines Day was a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make every one feel like crap.”

This line from Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, I can appreciate.

When I was single I could be described as a Valentine’s Day hater. I hated watching my roommates prepare to show their girlfriends a really special date and show all of their love and affection in materially: chocolates, flowers and jewelry.

What a lousy trap they were all in. The entire holiday felt so incredibly corny, mushy and lame.

But eventually when I finally found a real girlfriend and I noticed how she was looking forward to Valentine’s Day and really getting excited in the dead of winter! Then the true meaning of Valentine’s Day dawned on me: women like Valentine’s Day for the presents; guys like Valentine’s Day for the possibility of getting action! It’s unfortunate that they don’t teach this stuff in school.

For the first time I found myself kind of excited about Valentine’s Day. I was buying flowers and chocolate, preparing for the nice dinner date. I thought back to my former bitterness over the holiday and I felt pity for my former self and everyone who didn’t have a date on Valentine’s.

Now that I’m in my thirties and have been married for seven years, Valentines has taken on an different meaning.

Maybe Valentine’s Day is about true love. Victor Hugo said, “Life’s greatest happiness is to be convinced that we are loved.”

The distinction between true love and true lust seems to have blurred.

It would seem from most movies that more often than not the main characters are in love with a person because they “look hot”.  And it would seem that in earlier times, when poetry and sentiment were the ways to a woman’s heart, there was less attention placed on a woman’s bust, cleavage and voluptuous lips and more attention extolling the ‘virtues of love.”

Love, and a good home relations probably most of us take for granted, but rarely ponder. Love means that our own sense of satisfaction is dependent upon the satisfaction of another person.
To really know love is to know what the absence of love feels like.

I’ve come across a few unloved people.  Many homeless people have simply given up because nobody cares if they fail or succeed. If nobody cares why should they care?

My dogs bring a lot of love to our life and home, and its great there are so many people who go out of their way to care about unloved animals. But it’s sad that unloved humans don’t receive as much attention.

This Valentine’s Day can have a bit more meaning if we actually remember to thank those who love us. I realize this sounds corny and lame, but go spend some time with a homeless person and you will appreciate anybody in your life who you love or who loves you back.