Facebook or Myspace?-- Navigating the Tretcherous Waters of Online Social Networks
November 17th, 2008
Kids will say anything online--post photos and open up to everyone they meet. But if you think this is just fun and games, think again.
by Savannah Turk
Some names have been changed to protect minors.
Bridget and Riann, two Utah teens, were best friends. Over the summer vacation after 7th grade, they stayed in touch through Myspace. When Riann posted some new pics, Bridget didn't like what she saw. Riann woke up one morning to messages from her best friend calling her a slut for the type of pictures she had posted. A bitter feud ensued, pulling in other friends and lasting all the way to the first day of school, where the girls acted like they didn't even know each other.
Myspace and Facebook: these are two of the major social networking sites that have overtaken the youth of America. Here, people of all ages can personalize accounts, upload pictures, comment on profiles, and have entire conversations through the simple act of touching a few keys or clicking a mouse. This technological Utopia, however, has introduced a new form of communication: cyber bullying. Personal grudges, fighting friends, or upset ex's can lead to nasty comments on each other's profiles -- comments that are broadcast for all to see. Due, in part, to this behavior the websites have been deemed unsafe for kids and teens in hopes that they will not become subject to this new form of abuse. But how do the users view the bullying, and how can teens avoid walking into a wall of harassment?
In a study done by lovetoknow.com, 33% of youth have been bullied online. Whether being ignored, disrespected or humiliated, 41% will not tell anyone off-screen they are being abused. (visit souce) Heather Francis, a Weber State University student, commented on her experience with Myspace bullies, "People have tried, but it doesn't bother me. They are mainly high school girls looking for attention." Francis also says that Myspace is the only place she has seen bullying. "It's only on Myspace, it has never happened on Facebook. I think it's because you can hide yourself more on Myspace."
Are the hidden identities through screen names making bullying more prevalent on Myspace, as opposed to Facebook where your real name is shown? Collin Williams, a prominent Myspace and Facebook user, gave his opinion. "When people can be anonymous it makes it a lot easier for them to say hurtful or inappropriate things because it can't be linked back to them." Following this statement, Williams continued to say he thought the main difference is Facebook is operating on a new level. "It's kind of like Myspace is the high school and Facebook is the corporate office. You still have bad things being said and immature people, but it's not nearly as bad."
Myspace's reputation for bullying and sexual predators has kept it unpopular with today's parents. Becky Jenkins, a mom of two teenagers, comments on letting her children on social networking sites. "I previewed the sites before letting my kids on. I've heard so many bad stories about Myspace; I didn't want them on it. There is so much privacy that you can't tell who people really are. Facebook seems more open and exposed. It's like Myspace is NC17 and Facebook is PG13." Jenkins now allows her children on Facebook, but regularly monitors their activity, and makes sure that she is one of their "friends" so she can see what's going on.
Many parents seem wary when it comes to social networking sites. A big contributor to the skepticism is the national story of 13-year-old Megan Meiers, who ultimately committed suicide after a barrage of online attacks. While the instigator of the bullying turned out to be the mother of one of Meier's classmates, the result of the cyber bullying is still undeniable. Another notable case involves online rumors about a boy being gay, and his subsequent IRL (in-real-life) abuse at school following the online rumor machine.
Gillian, a friend of both Bridget and Riann, shares her view of what can happen as a result of online attacks, "They were best friends, and because of some mean things that were written on Myspace, they didn't even talk to each other again." Bridget, who has a history of battling low self-esteem, and was on mood-regulating medication, was put into an in-patient facility not long after the new school year started. "Riann never got to tell her that it was all okay," Gillian said. "Bridget went away before she could. But she misses her and what happened on Myspace doesn't even matter now."
Gillian also shares that several mutual friends found themselves on opposite sides of the feud prior to Bridget leaving school. "There were, like, three of us on Bridget's side and two on Riann's side. We couldn't really be friends anymore because they were fighting." The fighting, that led to a dispute among five teenagers, never happened face-to-face: it all occurred on Myspace.
Jenkins remembers when she was in high school. "One time I played a very mean joke on a boy who had a crush on me," she recalls. "I sent him a note and asked him if he would be my boyfriend. After he said yes, I sent him another note that said 'April Fools.' It was horrible, but he was the only one who knew I did it. With online bullying, the mean messages are out there for everyone to see." Jenkins feels that teenagers are always going to have a tendency to pick on one another, but this new medium just seems to magnify the problem.
This message of a dangerous Myspace has carried over to many young adults today. Brad Ewton, a student at NUAMES High School in Davis County, says it was his choice to stay away from Myspace and join Facebook instead. Ewton tells me, "It just seems safer."
Facebook seems to be getting approval for its lack of bullying, predators, and reputation; but is Facebook on its way to becoming another 'bad apple'? Amanda Moss, another student at NUAMES High School, thinks the websites are on two different paths. "I think that the people who want to keep things clean will stick with Facebook, and the people who do not, won't want to bother to change accounts." This being said, Facebook is still in its young stages. As Myspace grew, it added features like Myspace playlists and personal polls or quizzes that attracted larger audiences. However, bullying doesn't have to be a rude comment for the Myspace population to see.
In the same study by lovetoknow.com, it was found that 56% of cyber bullying comes from chat rooms. This is followed by 49% of youth being bullied on instant messaging, and an overwhelming 28% being bullied via personal e-mail. According to the National Crime Prevention Council, online bullying can have similar or more severe effects on the victim than being bullied in person. The results include a drop in grades, low self-esteem, a change in interests, depression, and many more. Online users also find it difficult to leave a situation because much of their social networking occurs on the internet. (source)
Although the mediums of bullying have changed from bad guys on the playground to comments on Myspace, the results are very much the same. Children, teenagers, and young adults are finding themselves judged and cornered with ruined reputations. While there may be a saving grace, like Facebook, where online users will find themselves virtually free of bullying, the inevitability of it will pursue in another form. Parents, monitor your child's online activity. Teens, don't fall for a bully's remarks. "It's just not worth it," says Gillian. "Two of my best friends had a horrible fight about something that wasn't even real and they could have missed the chance to say they are sorry."
Reader Comments
From Fon Nutt
This is a great story. My daughter is 9 and wanting to network on the computer. It helps to have this story to allow her to read what really can and does happen. Not just some story made up to frighten her. Her friend's mom monitors her e-mail and now I see why. Great Job Savannah.
