Port O' Call Under Siege by Federal Pirate Ship
November 21st, 2008
The Federal Government will bring the complete demise for Port O' Call, if they get their way.
by Richard Markosian
Deno Dakis, Manager of Port O' Call, is in disbelief over the latest series of events in the federal courthouse expansion saga. "Its funny how they will tare down a perfectly good business to make new room for bankrupcy courts," said Dakis.
Dakis' sentiment sums up ridiculous irony of the situation. A federal courthouse expansion should be an added benefit to any city: providing jobs, construction labor and a greater capacity for the city to handle crime. However, if there is anything criminal about what has happened in the past few years, its the incredible waste and ineptitude of the GSA (Government Services Administration).
The same Federal Government who brought us the sub-prime mortgage crisis; the Iraq war; the $7 trillion bail-out-- now brings us a giant mess that hits much closer to home: The Federal Courthouse expansion project in downtown Salt Lake City. If you don't know the entire story, don't feel guilty because the local media has completely missed the significance of what has happened over the past seven years.
The story in a nutshell:
Ten years ago The Federal Government decided they needed a larger courthouse in Utah, so they can convict more Utahns for Federal tax evasion, money laundering and high treason. For three years they conducted a study to determine the location for the new courthouse. The initial plans were to tare down Oddfellows Hall and build directly behind the current Frank Moss Courthouse: this would have been a sensible plan.
But they decided to throw this sensible plan out. Instead they decided to move Oddfellows Hall across the street at a cost of $6-10 million (when the building is only worth $10 million), and instead tare down the beautiful Shubrick building -- which happens to be home to the most popular bar in downtown Salt Lake City -- Port O'Call.
But this was only the only the beginning of the series of poor choices they would make. In 2002 they began acquiring property. First they bought the corner Chevron and demolished it. Not only inconveniencing residents by removing one of only two gas stations in central downtown, but also leaving behind a giant hole and pile of dirt in downtown SLC for the next five years. Then they run into trouble when they attempt to acquire the Shubrick building and Port O'Call.
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This is when things get weird and the Feds begin acting like pirates attempting to board and demolish a ship-- Port O' Call.
They call this process "relocation and acquisition" but its much closer to bribery, because there is no logic behind the amounts of money they offer each tenant to leave. The process of federal eviction of tenants in a building they don't own, makes no sense. The only logical reason why they would start doing this, is to make the building less appealing to the owners, so they will accept the Feds small ransom for their ship. In effect, by tossing crew members (tenants) overboard.
But the Knowleys, (owners of Port O' Call & the Subrick building) don't accept. They are stubborn about accepting the Feds offer on their building -- which is about half of fair-market value.
Then the feds get to work by bribing City Weekly to move for $45 K. City Weekly was growing quickly and ready to to move anyway so they accept the very small offer to jump ship. But still the Knowleys, don't accept the Feds ransom.
Next, the Feds decide to bribe The Galley, a small, not very profitable, coffee shop. But the Galley realizes they are dealing with wealthy pirates with deep pockets, so demand a huge bribe. The Feds comply because must have decided if they toss the Galley overboard, the Port O'Call ship will finally sink. So the Feds pony up an astounding $126 K, for the Galley to leave. The Galley accepts the bribe, and laugh all the way to the bank.
Over the next three years The Feds also bribed Bikini Cuts, then a tattoo parlor. Still the Feds believe they have done well, because now they finally they have the Knowleys where they want them: a huge building with only one real tenant: Port O'Call. But still they wont take the feds low-ball offer. The Knowleys plea to the Feds is to grant merely grant them enough ransom to buy Odd Fellows Hall, which is much smaller, and completely gutted.
But the stubborn pirates (the Feds) say "no." The Knowleys persist and don't budge, which makes the Feds very upset, and we know what happens when the Federal Government gets mad. So the Feds use their final ace-in-the-hole: the card the Feds can always play for land acquisition if they absolutely need to. This card happens to be a violation of the constitution, but who cares? They play--eminent domain--which means Port O'Call will leave and take the Feds offer, whether they like it or not. The pirates finally draw their sabors to the necks of the Knowlys and Port O'Call.
Now, if the Feds get their way, Shubrick will be demolished, Port O'Call will sink all because the Federal Government wont offer them enough money to relocate or buy a comporable building in the area. They will demolish Shubrick, and Salt Lake City could wait for years with more dirt piles until Congress appropriates funds to build the Federal Courthouse. GSA says the earliest building could possibly begin is 2010.
If this sounds a bit unfair, there is one thing that Salt Lake City residents can do: e-mail Senators Hatch and Bennett. Our Senators could intervene and inform the GSA, that they have created a huge cluster *%$$, and now they should end their bullying tactics and stupidity and go build their courthouse in a more appropriate location--like Rose Park.
Read our original Utah Stories investigation without opinion here: Salt Lake City Courthouse Expansion
Story Comments
from Sherry Lavallee
Keep the Port O'Call....why lose money that the city needs and more jobs gone. Do we really need another fed building?
from Anonymous
They couldn't tear down the Odd Fellows bldg because it was on the National Register of Historic Places. The Shubrick wasn't.
